#7 See post #2

Interesting article in the Guardian if you agree with “#2 Porn” – I’m a firm believer that the X-rated stuff should be opt in. Love the German approach of signing up at the post office too! Have a read here!

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#6 A must read

To the lovely followers…

…sorry for the lull in postings, I’m a busy little bee at the moment – but always have time to read and report on brilliant happenings…such as Laura Bates’ conquest, a snapshot of which can be found here… //gu.com/p/3f68n/tw or the project website here.. http://www.everydaysexism.com/

Have a read and speak soon!


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#5 Care Packages

Care package – “…a generic term for a parcel of food or supplies sent for relief or comfort purposes”.

Care packages are your wildcards, use them wisely when they are least expected for maximum effect. Use them to woo, or use them to lift that amazing girl when she might not be feeling her best, but use them.

So what are they? Well they are always a surprise present, containing multiple presents or gifts with the aim of causing 100% surprise and 100% happiness. As such, you need to tailor the contents, delivery method and most importantly the box itself, to the situation. But do not overlook any aspect because your chosen recipient will not – every detail will be analysed so it all has to be right.

Every lesson needs a case study, so here’s one from the author (me)…

So after I’d met Little Miss Fabulous…Which was abroad and I genuinely thought I might never see her again due to distance and just general modern hecticness… I knew I had to conjure up something special. So before I had even got home I had already planned to bring my fugly face firmly back in her focus with something more than a Facebook friend request. So I put my first care package together with all the things I had thought up over the week or so that I was still away and it genuinely felt like it was Christmas.  It was so much fun to pick and purchase all these random items (including a t-shirt of my own which smelled of my aftershave which she had shown a liking to (doesn’t have to be Cartier necklaces people)). Everything was individually wrapped with a little letter and a general aroma of Paco Rabanne Millions. Then I sent it off and the rest is history – so don’t think that they are only for long term partners or people you have known for ages.

Build the perfect care package…

  • Choose a box that will mean something….design, shape, size….it all matters. Or alternatively, make one…but it needs to be personal and appealing.
  • We live in a digital age and it’s all too easy to say what you’re feeling with a text/email/Facebook/Skype message…so if you take the time to write a hand-written note or letter that will be the first thing she will see when the lid comes off, it will last a lot longer than the one liner sitting in her Outlook Inbox.
  • The contents are entirely up to you but think outside the box (crap pun) and careful wrapping is one of those touches that makes a difference here – you don’t want it to look like you’ve just won Supermarket Sweep, she wants to see time invested here.
  • Delivery method – nothing wrong with posting it if things are a little long distant, but make sure it’s not just bunged into the cheapest service….you want it to arrive and arrive intact…and it’s even better if you can see the moment it is signed for. Hand deliver for maximum impact.

So this week’s mission my friendly little followers, is to source your box, make one up, then get it sent….enjoy – it’s meant to be fun!

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#4 I’m back

How rude of me – dashing off to a far flung land of no connectivity and lots of wild animals. Back with you now though – expect a post on ‘Care Packages’ before the week is out (and we’re not talking Call of Duty here)…

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#3 You

You are the second most important person in all of this: your mission to find The One. But the most important part of you, is that you feel confident in yourself. Waning confidence and you might as well be that poor lion/rhino/giraffe on a nature programme who gets beaten by the alpha male and doesn’t get to mate. Once defeated the female lions/rhinos/giraffes don’t give him a second look…

Ok men…time to stand in front of the mirror in your boxers and ask yourself the question: “do you like what you see?”. If you don’t, then it’s time to do something about it – and not for the reason you may think…

Men have a different outlook than women. Women have a wide range of factors when they seek a partner. Each girl is different; one woman’s prince is easily another’s frog. We are far more basic and caveman about the whole situation, if we like what we see, we generally take it from there (with standards varying largely – especially with beer) and find out if the woman qualifies in the areas that mean much to us, during that initial getting-to-know-her stage.

What’s my point? My point is that if you don’t like what you see while standing in front of the mirror in your boxers, it doesn’t mean that a woman thinks the same. What matters is that YOU believe you are a good catch. You may not look like Gerard Butler or Ryan Gosling but – if you have that elusive (non-cocky) confidence – girls will flock to you.

But if YOU don’t like what you see, girls will sense it. Who wants to be paired up with a guy who doesn’t even like himself? You’ve got to do something about it…

But what should you do?

Well the issues that may need addressing will vary from guy to guy, but that doesn’t mean you need to throw money at what you want to change (which is often the initial reaction).

You don’t need to join a gym, or head for Harrods. There’s a big world out there to get into shape in, a woman your mam would love for you to bring home for Sunday lunch won’t care about your bank balance and H&M beats Harrods every time…

Why not think outside the box and try rock climbing, surfing or something else you’ve always wanted to do? Pick something that you’ll enjoy and keep at, will get you in shape, improve your confidence and perhaps even give you the chance to meet some interesting new girls. The type of girls you wouldn’t find in your local boozer.

So get in front of that mirror and change something today. Don’t be that fish that the shark picks off as the weakest of the shoal…

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#2 Porn

Porn: “… the explicit portrayal of sexual subject matter for the purpose of sexual gratification.”

Let’s not beat about the bush here (no pun intended) – the porn needs to go…right now!

Now, I’m no feminist, I’m not after boyfriend points and I’m definitely not trying to be a kill joy, but porn is no good for you. If you strip it back (sorry, there I go again) you are watching 2 (or frequently more) total strangers, completely naked and doing something together that should be one of the most precious things you could ever do. Every second you watch, your mind slips down a slippery slope of sexual devaluation – this is not a good thing.

It is, essentially, an addiction. Your mind will crave it and you will become reliant on it, always wanting more. Here lie two dangers;

  1. like with drugs, you can spiral into harder content and there begins a disturbing and difficult path to return up
  2. you will disconnect from what sex means, women will not be impressed Ron Jeremy, not impressed

So where do we go from here? Well as you will find with the topics that will be coming up, this is very much dependent on YOU. People deal with things in different ways, but very often you need a reason to quit and that is not always easy to find. So focus on something, perhaps even ‘defuse’ before you start…do whatever works, but get off the porn – it could well be the biggest obstacle which is skewing your vision when it comes to meeting girls and generating enough interest in yourself, to hold their attention.

Finally – just imagine for a moment that you are a little further down the line, a few dates in perhaps, when you’re asked the question “So do you watch porn?”  – she will think she has hit the jackpot when you tell her you don’t watch ANY. Think about that. Most women aren’t going to want to feel that they are being compared to all the ‘actresses’ you observe so frequently and ultimately if you start going out with someone, you really shouldn’t be thinking about anyone but them – should you?

Next blog post will cover YOU…the second most important person in ALL of this…in the meantime however (since I have somehow managed to accumulate a fair few followers already) I want to set you a little mission:

Between now and the next blog post, I want you to willingly complete an act of chivalry. Perhaps just opening a door for someone (with a smile – you’re not crazy and it is not an inconvenience, it should be your pleasure) or helping someone off a train, carrying their bag up some stairs (or even their bike, that doesn’t happen much in London according to my better half). Young or old, good looking or not so, it doesn’t matter who you do it for, just do it – and don’t think about what anyone around you thinks, if you get a funny look it’s because you’re showing them up. Go for it and feel free to report back.

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#1 The Pilot

Pilot episodes are always interesting – “They are best thought of as prototypes of the show that is to follow, because elements often change from pilot to series” (thanks Wiki’). This post is the single cell organism at the beginning, it will evolve past primates but I intend to crack on with standing tall with all of you as soon as possible. Anyway, enough Darwinism…

Welcome gentleman (and I DO mean gentlemen). Let’s get straight into it – I’m dead lucky, I’ve met THE ONE – not going to lie, she absolutely rocks my world. I’m not just saying that because she might read this (she will) but because I want you to find someone who means the same, wherever she may be (because I will make it my mission that you do).

We have a problem though – I’ve reached breaking point – hence this blog…

Said girlfriend has some lovely friends…most of whom are single and I can’t deal with hearing these cringey stories about awful dates with even worse guys. I am not for a second wishing you to think that I am some kind of know it all. I just want to at least try to help those wanting some honest pointers, but those wishing to add notches on their bedposts can pass on by.

Ready to go? Lets go…

So how do I intend to help you? There are some key areas, I might flit between them to tackle the different topics but here’s the brief:

Prepping: preparation is key, I will help you learn more about who you are, what you want and how to get it.

Wooing: as much help as I can offer to generate the confidence so that when the time is right, winning that special girl over is taken in your stride.

Keeping: how many times have you watched a couple have a conversation-less meal for two? Your relationship doesn’t end at wooing – this is the beginning of a brilliant journey, and we don’t bounce along the bottom here, we soar up above clouds.

And if any women stray on here: WELCOME – if you like what you read, then don’t settle for anything less – and if a guy splits the bill on the date, send him my way and I’ll dunk him in the North Sea for you (just kidding)…(kind of).

I will set the ball rolling with the first topic that I will publish within the week…and that is…PORN – intrigued? You should be.

Make sure to return, there is much to learn in life.

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